Happy Mothers Day

Once upon a time there was a child ready to be born. So one day he asked God, "They tell me you are sending me to Earth tomorrow, but how am I going to live there being so small and helpless?" God answered him, "Among the many angels, I chose one for you. She will be waiting for you and will take care of you."

"But tell me", asked the child, "here in Heaven, I don't do anything but sing and smile, that's enough for me to be happy." "Your angel will sing for you and will also smile for you everyday. And you will feel your angel's love and be happy" God reassured him.

"And how am I going to be able to understand when people talk to me, if I don't know the language that men talk?" "Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words you will ever hear, and with much patience and care, your angel will teach you how to speak."

"And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you Lord?" "Your angel will place your hands together and will teach you how to pray."

"I've heard that on Earth there are bad men. Who will protect me?" "Your angel will always defend you, even if it means risking it's own life."

"But I will be sad because I will not see you anymore" "Your angel will always talk to you about me and will teach you the way for you to come back to me, even though I will always be next to you."

At that moment there was much peace in Heaven, but voices from Earth could already be heard and the child in a hurry asked softly, "Oh God, if I am about to leave now, please tell me my angel's name." "Your angel's name is of no importance, you will call your angel Mommy."

Author Unknown

Mommy Dearest

Apparently I am the worst mother ever, that according to the 7 year old that thinks she runs this roost. She's been making me a Mothers Day gift for weeks now, she keeps telling me not to look. Tonight she asked to stay out later than normal to play, I said no. She was so unhappy with me, as she marched to her room she yelled "You don't deserve a Mother's Day Gift!" Two minutes later she came stomping out with something all ripped up and threw it all in the trash. I guess my present is going to dump when the garbage is picked up tomorrow. Maybe if I was a nice Mom I would've given in an let her keep playing... Nope not happening, I'm the Mom not a friend!

I guess Mommy Dearest of the Year award goes to me, all because of a bedtime...

Happy Earth Day

As the mother of two precious kiddies I should be more aware of enviromental issues that will no doubt effect their lives for years to come. Whats the saying... "We did not inhert the planet from our parents, we are borrowing it from our children". I'm ashamed to say, I'm not as versed in the subject as I should be. I am very proud of my dear sweet husband for doing more research and pushing me in the ways our family should be heading. I love that he pulls cans out of the trash to put in the recycling bin, that he buys recyleable items whenever possible, and that he tours our house constantly turning off lights. I know from the three gas guzzlers in our driveway you've never guess that about him.

Thats one thing that really upsets me, our fuel dependency. And when I say "our" I am talking about everyone not just this family of four. How did we as a civilized society become so dependent on something that is obviously in short supply? And the bigger question, how do we solve this problem. Yes I get it, point the fingers at us driving the gas guzzlers. So this family gets rid of our three vehicles for three other vehicles, even hybrid or electric, thats only 3 cars. Unless you get the whole world to do that, what difference will it make?

So what's the solution?

Maybe I'll invest in some horses and a couple buggies. How many do you think it would take to pull our boat to the lake?

Aunt B

I LOVE being an Aunt! Love, Love, Love it!

JaDaKenn has been such a joy, and on March 25th his little brother Jeter Derek joined our family. Two nephews for me to adore and smother with attention and love!

Jeter Derek

6 lbs 3 oz 19 inches

JaDaKenn is not sure what to think about his new little brother, but I'm sure he'll be a wonderful big brother. I love these munchkins!!!

Wrestling

Ethan's first wrestling season was short and sweet... He won half his matches, and took the silver in his tournament. Good job EDog!

Here are some pics.

Three of the four coaches (LeRoy had to work) with some of the kids at the end of season awards dinner.

Here is a picture of the gifts I gave the coaches as a thank you and below is the card we put together.

It was a great season and we all had fun. Ethan met some great friends and learned a little bit more about himself. It was so fun to see this side of him, and I loved watching the fire in my Brother again. Can't wait for next year!

Stinky!

This is a conversation between the kids, I overheard while driving down the road.

"What is that smell?"

"That's a skunk"

"That's what a skunk smells like?"

"Ya, its gross hu!"

"Smells better than your farts."

Sure makes a mother proud!

Time to move forward

The loss of my Uncle Pete has been heartbreaking to me. I love him dearly and will miss him every day. I have pushed off planning our Spring Break trip because it usually included a visit with him and that makes it too real. I know he is happy, healthy, and no longer in pain and I know he’s with his Parents, enjoying them. What hurts is knowing my kids won’t get the full knowledge of how wonderful he is. They do have their own memories of him, and I’ll try to remind them of him whenever possible. But I can’t possibly convey to them how wonderful he is, share all of his stories, or teach them all the lessons life taught him and that is a horrible feeling. I made this for his memorial service, please enjoy.

(Coming soon)

Losing someone so important makes you want to savor every minute you have, and I’m trying. I appreciate the sunrise every morning knowing each day brings amazing opportunities. I am appreciative for my job, knowing I am able to help provide for this family, and my husband doesn’t have to carry that responsibility alone. I watch our children everyday knowing although I’ll be their Mom forever; they will only be my “kids” for so long, before they spread their wings and leave our nest. I enjoy the little things, snuggle time with each of them, the relentless begging for “just one more game”, the constant drawing with papers and pencils strewn across the counters, all while marking each achievement for me to reflect upon when they have left to make their own mark on this crazy world. I appreciate my husband more with each passing day, realizing how lucky I am to have such a wonderful man in my life. He treats me better than I deserve most of the time and doesn’t ask for much in return. Whenever the pessimist in me rears its ugly head, he is full of optimism and is happy to share. He truly is my soul mate, the yang to my yin. I often think of him as the glass half full to my glass half empty.
So I guess it’s time to plan that Spring vacation and make some more wonderful memories with the ones I love. And even though Uncle Pete won’t be there for us to visit, he’ll be with us.

Proud Mama

This year Ethan has decided to try his luck at wrestling. With him being such a tender heart and kind soul I was worried this wouldn't turn out well. He'd been practicing for a few weeks, and then it was time, his first wrestling match. We rounded up the family and headed up to school. When we pulled in the neighborhood where the school was located, it was so dark, the power was out, the wrestling match was canceled. Ethan was very disappointed to say the least. A week later we tried again. Unfortunately Ron had a meeting out of town and wasn't able to get back before our sons first match.

We entered the gym at the high school and I was afraid to let the kids out of my sight. It was organized chaos! I was so nervous. Slowly my backup started to show up; my Mom, Jess, JD, Kenna, and luckily I ran into some great friends, Waylann & Brooke, who were there with their son River. Ethan was paired up with another kid the same size as him and sent out onto the mat. It wasn't going so good, he was losing, and then in a matter of seconds, Ethan had the kid in a cradle and pinned him. I was shocked and proud. His second match didn't end so well, he was pinned.

The Proud Mama part came not from him winning, but from watching his sportsmanship. After his first match his shook his opponents hand and gave him the one armed hug. In between matches he looked up in the stands and saw a kid crying, and asked me to excuse him, ran up the bleachers and sat down with the upset kid. When I asked what he said, he told me the kid was upset he lost his first match, but Ethan told him it was ok and that he still had another match. After his second match, after being pinned, he was visibly upset, but still shook his opponents hand and then walked over to his opponents father and shook his hand.

I hadn't realized how grown up he has become. Sometimes you have to step back and let them show you, and I hadn't given him the chance. He continually surprises me. I hope he knows how proud both his father and I are of him.

Uncle Pete

While this blog is my way to share, it's really my way to put the ramblings in my mind down on virtual paper, so to say. It's how I'm able to clear the cobwebs from the rafters in this head of mine. I have an uncle who once told me that sharing on the internet was just inviting people to snoop into your life, that it's a disregard for the privacy we've come to hold dear. He once told me that if I ever posted a picture of him on the internet, on my "damn blog or the damn facebook" he'd stop speaking to me. We'll I sure hope that's not the case.
You see it's time for me to share about my dear Uncle Pete, whom I love and cherish more than he knows. I have several uncles and aunts and they all have a special place in my heart, I have stories about each of them and memories that I wouldn't give for anything. My Uncle Pete is one of those guys that says it how he sees it, who can come accross as mean and gruf. He always means well, even if that's not how it feels.
When I was a child, Pete was scary, with his no nonsense attitude. Yes I have memories of him that I'd rather forget, because he did scare me, but I have plenty since then that I hold dear. The first memory of him I cherish is one of my favorites, one the I think changed my life forever for the better.

I was about nineteen and working at a dentist office, his dentist. One morning he came in, and on his way out he told my boss that he was taking me to breakfast. It was probably the first time we had been alone together. I went, worried about what he was going to say to me, knowing there must be something that was on his mind. Sure enough, over breakfast he proceeded to tell me that I was angry inside, that I needed to forgive my Dad for leaving when I was little (another story, another time). He told me that no matter what the reason, whether it was right or wrong, unless I let go of the anger I was never going to find happiness. He said that he only wanted me to be happy, but for that to happen I was going to have to remember the love I had for my Dad, and never be the one to "blame". Which meant I had to send cards, I had to call and write, even if he didn't respond. He reminded me that I was worth a fathers love, even if I didn't feel worthy. When he dropped me back off at work I was in tears, but not because I was afraid, but because he was able to knock down a wall that I had built around my heart, that I thought would protect me, but was only isolating me from love.

This wasn't the only time he had to speak frankly to me, even about this subject, but over the years we've built a relationship I treasure. I'm not sure if I've completely let go of all that anger, but he did help me open up enough to find love. I thank him for helping me with that. I believe that without his brutal honestly I would have pushed true love away, instead of letting myself be vulnerable, and that would have been a mistake.

Right now my Uncle Pete is lying in a hospital bed and I wish I could be there with him. The last message he left for me said "get your asses down here, no excuses", we didn't go. I hope I don't end up hating myself forever for that. And I hope he doesn't disown me for posting this or his picture.

I love you Uncle Pete. Thank you for being here for me and my kids. Thank you for telling me how it is. Thank you for loving me like you do. I hope to see you very soon!

What if....

We’ve all done it, played the game, asked the question, thought of the scenario, fantasized about what it would be like; you know “what would I do if I won the lottery”. What would you do first? Faint, go on a shopping spree, and maybe call your biggest frenemie to rub it in? What would you do? Move into a bigger more elaborate house, go on vacation, and buy every pair of shoes that call your name?

I am more of a practical girl, almost insanely practical, so let me tell you what I’ve always said. Of course, the first thing I’d do is call a good lawyer and a financial advisor. After that was taken care of and I had paid a substantial amount of taxes, I would pay off every bill we had and put money in trust accounts for the kids. I would have to buy all the shoes that called my name, because that is my obsession. I would take my family on the most amazing and humbling vacation, somewhere we could relax, bond, make memories, and make a difference.

This is where the “fantasy” of winning the lottery goes terribly amiss, donating to charity. Not because I wouldn’t want to donate, more of the thought of deciding; picking one charity as a more worthy cause, how do you do that? How do you decide which cause is more important? Would you give your money to help feed starving children or would you give your money to help find cures for diseases killing loved ones? Would you donate for people who have become disabled fighting for our great nation or to the abused animals who cannot fend for themselves? Would you provide shelter for someone less fortunate or give a dying child his or her biggest wish? Do you try to help save the planet or the people of a dying nation? Do you contribute to help spread the word about the atrocities being committed around the world or do you dig in, starting with your own community and hope it will spread?

Yes, I’ve always had my chosen charities when it comes to donating, because they have special meaning to me. It’s not much, but if my donations are added to everyone else’s donations, it makes a difference. I want a cure for Cancer, a cure for MS, a cure for Alzheimer’s and I want transplants to be affordable to anyone who needs them. Every child should have every opportunity available, regardless of money. I hate the thought of anyone going hungry or anyone sleeping in the cold. I hate the thought that out there in world kids are forced to work to help provide because there are no other options. I hate the terms “child abuse”, “sex slavery”, “blood diamond”, and “ethnic cleansing”, to name a few. So how would I choose? Just the thought makes me anxious.

I’m so thankful I haven’t won the lottery!