I find it rather ironic how death is a part of life. Isn’t that some sort of oxymoron? You could say that I have been to more than my fair share of funerals. Yet with all the experience I’ve had mourning you’d think I wouldn’t keep needing reminders of what is truly important in life.

Without getting to in depth in my beliefs, I do know that there is more than this life and I will see those departed again. What I find so hard is in knowing that their presence will forever be missing from the rest of my life. There will be no more new memories, what I have is what I get and that is final.

I’ve watched how people mourn and how they move on. I’ve watched the inconsolable mourning of those who believe there is nothing after this life and I’ve watched the joy of seeing a much suffering soul “move on” from those who believe in heaven and an afterlife. I’ve seen spouses who won’t change a thing after their significant other has passed and those that immediately feel the need to fill a void and find someone new. I’ve seen those who have been stronger then anyone thought and lived years after losing their soul mate, and those who have been so broken hearted they pass away shortly after. I’ve watched children bury their parents and parents bury their children. I’ve been to funerals of people who have died “naturally” and those who have left this world before their time. Each of the departed has their personal story but the passing is still as heartbreaking as the last.

Why write about this now? Last night as my Brother and I stood at the headstones of several family members; our Grandparents, a cousin, and a cousin’s son, I was reminded of what is important.

Today my cousin will bury her son no doubt right next to his brother. Her son, a young man, not yet in his prime, a father to children who I saw running around last night, knowing their Dad is gone, but really too young to know what that really means. I watched my cousin in sheer agony of the loss of a second child; no parent should have to bury any of their children, let alone two. I felt the loss of this young man whom I had not seen in a couple years, but luckily do have fond memories of, I just wish I had more. But I must hold onto the ones I have, and they will have to keep me satisfied.

I hope this rambling is a nudge to everyone, a reminder of what is important. You can replace things, but you can’t replace people, you must work to live, but don’t live to work. It’s important to build memories that you can hold onto, pictures in your mind and in your heart. Because you never know when it will be the last time you see someone, and the memories you have is all you get to keep.

One returns to the place one came from.
- Jean de la Fontaine

Summer Plans

Is it really July? Really?? I can't believe how fast time flys by. I was really hoping to slow down this summer, to spend more time enjoying my family and friends. Cherishing what is important, making memories that will linger for years to come. I've yet to even begin making plans to do anything of the sort, and I just don't know why. We haven't taken the boat out, we haven't even taken the top off the Blazer! It's like we haven't gotten into the summer groove, like we're waiting to be invited by some magical "summer fairy".

I want this summer to one the kids remember. Ethan is getting older, and pretty soon hanging out with his family is going to be more of a duty and obligation, rather then something he looks forward to. I remember being his age, you know the summer before 6th grade, the last "elementary" summer, wow, that was a fun summer. I want him to remember his the same. And this is Sophia's last summer before she starts school "full-time". Lots of changes are coming our way and I think it's really time for us to slow down and really enjoy this time together.

Here's a list of things I'm thinking of planning:

• Camping trip with Ronnie and the kids
• Lots of boating weekends
• Trip to a good friends wedding....YAY~Sienna and Zack
• Trip to my wonderful Grandma's "40th" birthday LOL...I won't spill the beans on her age!
• A few days here and there with each of the kids on there own, for special days
• Maybe a little trip for me and Ronnie in there somewhere, just the two of us (we deserve it)

Let me know if you have any other great ideas for me...I'm open to suggestions.

Picking Role Models

Ethan is growing up and there is nothing I can do about it, except make sure he grows up to be a great adult. I've tried to make sure he never really looks up to sports players or musicians as idols, it's like fools gold, really nothing worthwhile to offer. At times he's spent time looking up to Ronnie, or my cousin Chandler, or his Grandpa, or his Uncle Monte, which is all fine with me. But lately he's been looking up to Kenny, my cousin Bree's boyfriend. And I'll admit, he's probably one of the coolest guys we've met in a long time. He's got his "stuff" together, but he's still "cool" (is that even the term used these days). He owns a skateshop and Ethan admires him and looks up to him. He even wrote out an invitation to Kenny for his birthday party.

I've sufficiently apologized numerous times to Kenny, because I feel like Ethan is pestering him, after all, he is a 30 year old man, who owns a skateshop that gets bombarded with kids daily, all he needs is a kid bugging him on his time off. He is constantly telling me that I shouldn't be apologizing, that Ethan is "cool", but like he'd say any different right, at least to my face. I guess he really means it because I heard that he actually told someone that he couldn't wait to have kids, and he hopes they are just like Ethan, because that kid is awesome. I'm so glad Ethan has picked out role models that I believe will really show him responsibility and morals, and he is choosing good ones on his own.

Do you think a sports star would actually take the time to say that about a kid that admired them? Highly unlikely and probably wouldn't be the best role models either.

Ethan has found a good one. Thank you Kenny!