Long Lost (better forgotten about) Nickname

I'm about to walk you down a memory lane, one I've tried to push down into the deep darkness of unwanted memories....because it makes me look like a ditz.

I turned 16 in December and could have run down to get my drivers license that day, but for some reason I knew that was a bad idea. After much prodding by not only my friends, who wanted another friend to chauffer them around, but also my Mom, who was probably tired of being my chauffer, I finally went down and got my license on Valentines Day. Yes almost two months later. I think I was too busy studying to be able to focus on driving (wink wink), but really we all know I just wasn't very observant.

My brother and his friends would torture me endlessly with taunting and teasing (because that's what little brothers and their friends do), but after I started driving they had plenty of material. You see I wrecked constantly it seems, and even though they weren't all my fault, because I wrecked frequently, I got teased about them all anyway.

Now I'm going to show my age...around the same time there was this great cartoon on, that everyone watched...DuckTales. And if you watched the cartoon you know what name my brother, his friends, and even one of the Dad's of some of the friends called me....

Launchpad

Yes, it was great (whats that new symbol for sarcasm). I was even in a restaurant once and the Dad (who shall remain nameless) yelled "Launchpad", and I looked! Not my greatest claim to fame.

I've tried to live that name and those wrecks down, but unfortunately this week, the ditz appeared again. I'm ok, very sore, and my car is going to be fine. But what is damaged the most is my ego, I don't want to be Launchpad anymore.

BTW...don't try to call me this...I will ignore you, and maybe even "unfriend" you.

If you don't like my Opinion, Quit Reading

I'm about to get political on you all...I'm not trying to offend anyone; I'm just voicing my opinion. That right was given to me clear back on December 15th, 1791, it's called the First Amendment, and I will take full advantage of it when I feel the need.

Because of this Amendment I am free to "speak my mind", as are you, and every other person living in this country. Unfortunately I've found there are quite a few idiots living here so you need to take heed before repeating what you hear.

Every once in a while I receive some great emails from my wonderful Aunt Bonnie (love her), and as always I do my research before forwarding anything on. There was one that she sent me called "I'm 63 and I'm Tired" of course I did some research and found a few small discrepancies, but I also found the blog by the author of this awesome writing, http://tartanmarine.blogspot.com/, and an updated blog entry to the what he wrote which was turned into an email, which is a MUST READ... http://tartanmarine.blogspot.com/2009/02/robert.html.

I will admit there are probably some of his opinions I'm not on board with completely, but that's probably because I'm not fully educated, so I won't mention which they are. However, there are a few that struck a chord with me that I MUST share. I've left my own little comments on a few, just to clarify my perspective.

**Please remember I cannot take credit for the following words, they were written by Robert A Hall.

"...I’m tired of being told that I have to “spread the wealth around” to people who don’t have my work ethic. I’m tired of being told the government will take the money I earned, by force if necessary, and give it to people too lazy or stupid to earn it." (I am not wealthy, but I am proud to say I have always worked hard and have never depended on anyone to pay my way. I don't try to keep up with "the jones" as they say, but we work hard, so if we want something nice, we'll buy it.)

"...I’m tired of illegal aliens being called “undocumented workers,” especially the ones who aren’t working, but are living on welfare or crime. What’s next? Calling drug dealers, “Undocumented Pharmacists”?" (illegal aliens are breaking the law...hence the term "illegal")

"...I’m willing to fast track for citizenship any Hispanic person who can speak English, doesn’t have a criminal record and who is self-supporting without family on welfare, or who serves honorably for three years in our military. Those are the citizens we need." (My Grandparents were not from this country, but they worked hard, supported their family and knew what a blessing it was to live in this country and made sure their children were proud to be American's. They didn't cheat the system and enter into this country illegally; they went through long processes and lots of paperwork. I do not believe we should "clear out this country", but there is a difference between immigrants trying to make a better life for themselves and their families legally and responsibly and those trying to suck all the benefits out of this Nation without doing any work.)

"...I’m tired of people with a sense of entitlement, rich or poor."

"...I’m real tired of people who don’t take responsibility for their lives and actions. I’m tired of hearing them blame the government, or discrimination, or big-whatever for their problems..." (I believe it's time for everyone to own their actions and where they are in this world, stop making excuses. If you don't like where you're at, do something about it!)

Please take the time to read his blog, to do your research, to educate yourself on what is happening to this country, and to decide whether or not you're willing to just sit idly by and let it happen.

May 19, 2000

What were you doing ten years ago right this moment? I remember what I was doing…I was lying by a pool in the warm Las Vegas sun with Ronnie, some family and friends, relaxing and enjoying the day. Looking forward to later that day when my amazing brother would walk me down the aisle and place my hand in Ronnie’s, and we’d become husband and wife. I love those memories, and the ten years of memories we’ve made since that day.
Sometimes I take for granted how wonderful my life is because of him. He’s made me a better person, and I hope he believes the same of me. We share two beautiful children, who couldn’t possibly want or need a better Dad. He’s a dependable provider, a rock of a best friend, and most importantly the husband I could only wish for. Thank you Ronnie, for being all this and more!

Happy Anniversary Hun! We are "Better Together". I love you! Here's to many more anniversaries spent together!

How Hard We Had It

Every so often I get this email, and everytime I read through it and laugh because its SO true.

Enjoy....

"When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning.... Uphill... Barefoot...in the snow...BOTH ways. yadda, yadda, yadda... And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on my kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!

But now that I'm over the ripe old age of thirty++, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a dang Utopia! And I hate to say it, but you kids today, you don't know how good you've got it! I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!

There was no email ! We had to actually write somebody a letter... With a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox, and it would take like a week to get there! Stamps were 10 cents!

Child Protective Services didn't care if our parents spanked us. As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to kick our butts! Nowhere was safe!

There were no MP3's or Napsters or iTunes! If you wanted to steal music you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself! Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio, and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up! There were no CD players! We had tape decks in our car. We'd play our favorite tape and "eject" it when finished, and then sometimes the tape would come undone rendering it useless. Cause, hey, that's how we rolled, Baby! Dig?

We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called, they got a busy signal, that's it! There weren't any freakin' cell phones either. If you left the house, you just didn't make a darn call or receive one. You actually had to be out of touch with your "friends". OH MY GOD !!! Think of the horror... Not being in touch with someone 24/7!!! And then there's TEXTING. Yeah, right. Please! You kids have no idea how annoying you are. And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your parents, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, the collection agent... you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!

We didn't have any fancy PlayStation or Xbox video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600, with games like 'Space Invaders' and 'Asteroids'. Your screen guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination!!! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen... Forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!

You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on television! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to actually get off your behind and walk over to the TV to change the channel!!! NO REMOTES!!! Oh, no, what's the world coming to?!?!

There was no Cartoon Network, either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying? We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-finks!

And we didn't have microwaves. If we wanted to heat something up, we had to use the stove! Imagine that!

And our parents told us to stay outside and play... all day long. Oh, no; no electronics to soothe and comfort. And if you came back inside... you were doing chores!

And car seats - Oh, please! Mom threw you in the back seat and you hung on. If you were luckily, you got the "safety arm" across the chest at the last moment if she had to stop suddenly, and if your head hit the dashboard, well that was your fault for calling "shot gun" in the first place!

See! That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled rotten! You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1970, or any time before!

OUCH!

Every summer our Friday nights belong to the track and to Ethan's races. We plan around his schedule, not to accommodate him, but to teach him when you make a commitment to something you stick to it.

Well this summer is going to be different. The race season was set to begin last Friday, April 16th. Ronnie decided he should take Ethan out to the track to let him practice before the race, always a good idea, except for maybe this time. Ethan was riding hard, trying his hardest, and came down hard off a jump. He was so tough, got back up on his bike and rode away. But as tough as our E-Dog is, he's no match for a broken bone. Yes, he broke his right collarbone, or in medical terms he has an "angulated displaced clavicle fracture." For now we've been told our options are to opt for surgery, which includes a metal plate, or the wait and see method, we've chosen the latter.

Ethan's pretty bummed he won't be racing, at least for six weeks, let alone doing much of anything else. He's such an active kid, and he really shouldn't be doing anything he normally does; riding, skateboarding, anything that could damage the injury further, and because it's his right clavicle, he really can't even draw. Both our kids are so energetic, I have no idea how to keep an immobile child busy....any suggestions would help.

I do have to say this, I know riding isn't the safest sport, but in our defense, he has been riding for 5 years and this really is his first injury. And as for the collarbone, it's one of the most common broken bones in children, in fact newborns can break their collarbones coming through the birth canal. Yes we will continue to let him ride and race, and hope this is the only injury, but we'll be ready for anything that comes our way.

Changes are Coming~

In some alternate universe there is a complete opposite of me, a free spirit, that goes with the flow, takes things as they come, and doesn't worry the least bit. I picture her with her hair flowing, no makeup on, dressed in an almost a "hippie" type flowing floral dress, twirling in a sunny meadow somewhere. There are times I wish I was her.

But in this universe, I'm an over the top, insanly irrational control freak. There is something in me that makes it impossible for me to feel comfortable "going with the flow", which is why I dread change. Change for me is jumping into the unknown, with no life vest on, and why would anyone in their right mind do that!

I know change is inevitable and that's what I'm looking at right now. I'm hoping this change brings amazing new opportunites for me, Ronnie and the kids. Afterall, that is the only reason I allow us to take these leaps of faith, for my family.

JaDaKenn Update

Being an Aunt is awesome! There are no words to tell you how much I love this little guy. He had his two month check up yesterday, he is 19 1/2 inches long and 7 lbs 9 oz! He's in the 50 percentile which is amazing considering he was a preemie. He is doing fabulous!

A couple weeks ago I was over visiting and he fell asleep in my lap all sprawled out. Everytime I tried to bundle him up or hold him cuddled he would fuss, so now I know, he likes to be streched out, once I let him be the way he wanted he didn't even make a peep. Of course I just sat back, let him sleep and enjoyed my time with him. I had to get a picture of him like this, all arched back with his arms over his head.

(Isn't he perfect)

I've been amazed at the changes I've seen in my brother. He's matured so much in the last two months, being a parent will do that to you. I'm so proud of them!

Havalee Hope ~ January 26th, 2010

I have been surrounded by so many people who I love dearly and who are such a big part of my life I guess the odds of having tragic things happen to me and the people around me are greater than if I was a recluse and had no loved ones.
It’s only March and I feel like I’ve been on the 2010 rollercoaster for what seems like more then a year. The birth of my nephew has been such a blessing, and although it was too early for him to join us, it was in many ways perfect timing. JaDaKenn Saxon was born on January 30th, 10 weeks too early, but also four days after a truly devastating loss for all of us. My beautiful cousin Stephanie and her husband Derek, along with their daughter Ariana, son-in-law Chad, son David, and daughter Hannah were expecting a new member of their family. A little girl was due to join their, our family around the same time JaDaKenn was to join our family. I was so excited for us all, and for their little family. Stephanie had said that she had dreamt of this little girl for over a year before becoming pregnant, and although her youngest, Hannah is already 10, she knew that this little girl was meant to join their family. Unfortunately during one of her early appointments they were told that there was a problem. After several ultrasounds and a lot of testing they were delivered devastating news. The child she was carrying was diagnosed with Trisomy 18, also known as Edwards Syndrome. Trisomy 18 is a condition caused by a chromosomal defect, during conception the baby receives three #18 chromosomes instead of the normal two. T18 is not hereditary, nor is it due to anything the parents did or did not do. Most people are aware of Trisomy 21, also known as Downs Syndrome; however, with T18 most of us didn’t know what to expect. After doing research I was heartbroken. Most babies with this syndrome die before birth, and those born live are given supportive medical care, meaning they focus on nutrition, fighting infections, and managing heart problems, with only 10% of these precious babies living to their first birthday. Just typing this is breaking my heart all over again. Stephanie and Derek had such amazing strength and belief during this pregnancy. We all tried to give as much love and support as we could. I won’t lie, it was hard; to watch such great people who we love so much going head first into undoubtedly the worst heartbreak anyone could experience.
They decided to give her a name that had meaning, Havalee Hope. They made her as much a part of their family as their other kids, including her story in their family holiday newsletter. They created a “hope” tree for her and let us all buy an ornament for her. The day I took the ornament we had chosen over to their house I sat and talked with Stephanie for a bit. I laughed and cried with this amazing woman. I listened to her and supported her as best I could. But as she told me she was planning a funeral instead of a nursery I broke. No parent should have to bury their own child. She confided in me that her only hope was that she would be able to bring Havalee home, if even just for a day. Unfortunately that wasn’t to be. Havalee Hope was born into Heaven on January 26th, 2010. When I was visiting in the hospital Stephanie asked her dear friend to pick up Havalee and hand her to me. I can’t tell you how amazing it was to hold that angel, if even just for the few moments I was blessed to. She was beautiful, too beautiful for this world.
I’d like to believe things happen for a reason, and it’s all part of a bigger plan. I’d like to believe Havalee was in heaven watching our hearts breaking and turned and looked at JaDaKenn, knew he would be fine and said “You need to go heal them”. I want to believe that, if only just for my own sanity. JaDaKenn was born 4 days after Havalee was born to Heaven, and 2 days later we attended Havalee’s funeral. I believe that was the most emotional week of my life. As I watched Derek, Stephanie and their children at the service, I realized their love and strength would get them through this, and this would give them love and strength like they'd never known. I’m so thankful that they have such a strong faith, it’s not only helping them by reminding them they will see Havalee again, but its helping the rest of us, by helping us feel comfortable to talk to them about her.
Stephanie still amazes me, she insisted on not only helping plan a baby shower for JaDaKenn after this happened, but also attended. She MC'd the game, helped with decorations and even sewed a beautiful diaper bag for them. She's been given a "free pass" if you will (by my brother and Kenna), to visit, hold, and kiss up on JaDaKenn as much as she'd like. I don't mind sharing Aunt duties with her at all.We may not be able to see Havalee, but we can always remember her and for those of us lucky enough to be still enough, we may be able to “feel” her. She’ll always be a part of our family, and I’ll always have the belief that JaDaKenn’s first friend is in Heaven watching him and smiling!

Kids Say the Darndest Things

This morning as I'm fixing Sophia's hair...

Sophia: Whats wrong with your hand Mom?
Me: It's still asleep
Sophia: Did it stay up all night and party?
Me: (trying to hold in my laughter) It must have, dang hand!
Sophia: You should tell your hand it needs to go to sleep when you do and not party all night!
Me: I will have to do that.

A Little Piece of Perfect!

I never questioned that I'd become a Mom, it was something I always knew I wanted to be and would be. What I did question was becoming an Aunt. The thought of being an Aunt seemed to be elusive for me. My brother, although we all he would be a great Dad, just didn't seem to be on the track for parenthood. That has all changed, and we couldn't be happier. JD and Kenna have made me an Aunt, and given my kids a cousin!

JaDaKenn Saxon Johnson was born January 30th, 10 weeks early of his April 9th due date, due to complications. He was 16 inches long and weighed 3 lbs 5 oz. He was rushed to the NICU right after being born, and he's still there, growing stronger every day. The doctors and nurses that helped deliver him joked that he came out "punching", and he's been fighting to get bigger and stronger every day.

I feel such a stong connection to this little guy, and I haven't even been able to hold him yet. I can't wait to squeeze him and kiss up on him, but I know that will have to wait, so for now I'm happy to just sit, take in the sight of him, and watch him grow.

Oh, and Uncle Ronnie already loves him too, just look at his smile.

Grow Saxon, Grow!

***Update....as of today he weighs 3 lbs 15 & a half oz and is 17 3/4 inches***