My Gift to You

I hope everyone is enjoying their holidays with their loved ones. My holiday gift for you all is a reminder, a reminder to appreciate what you have, do not dwell on what you don't have, and remember those that love you and don't miss an opportunity to love them back.

Happy Holidays!

Let it Snow

It feels like its been snowing for days. In fact I think today is the first day in about a week I've looked outside and not seen white fluffy flakes falling to the ground. I guess that's one good thing about not being able to drive. You see because of the seizure I had on Thanksgiving, I legally can't drive until the beginning of March. Hopefully by March the snow will be gone for the most part and I won't have to worry about driving on those icy roads.

If I have to be stuck in the house, I'd prefer looking out the window and seeing the world blanketed by the pure white perfect flakes that have fallen from heaven. So for now I say...Let it Snow!

The Thanksgiving I'd like to Forget

After the movie Diann was taking me home, this is where the split "personality" of the day came through. I remember driving (actually Diann driving) and we were talking about our thoughts of the movie. I remember talking about the remaining books becoming movies and how more then anything I want her to finish Midnight Sun. I remember pulling up to a stop light.....the next thing I remember was looking around, confused. We were parked on the side of the road,I could hear Diann crying outside of the car, I couldn't see her, I couldn't move, I could see a sign on the side of the road and I was trying to figure out where exactly we were. Then I could see an ambulance with the lights and sirens coming straight for me. I don't remember the paramedics walking towards me, I just remember them talking to me, asking me questions I couldn't answer. I didn't know where I was, where we had been, I couldn't even tell them how old I was. It was terrifying. I don't even think I answered any of there questions. I don't remember them putting the IV in my arm. I don't remember if I walked to the ambulance or if they put me on a stretcher and pushed me. I could hear Diann in the front of the ambulance talking to the driver, I could hear the three paramedics who were in the back talking, but nothing was seeming to register to me. When all the sudden I remembered how old I was. I'm sure that was a question they asked several minutes before, but I finally remembered and that was something. Then we pulled into the ER.

Apparently, I had a seizure. Diann said we were talking, and then I started convulsing. She rolled down the window and asked the lady in the car next to us to call 911. I've never had a seizure before, and like I said I don't remember a second of it. The papers from the hospital and the fire department called it a Tonic Colonic Seizure, which is what used to be termed as a Grand Mal Seizure, lasting over 3 minutes.

Several posts ago I talked about how lucky I am to have a family that is so supportive and loving, and I this was just another reminder of that. It was Thanksgiving night, after 10 pm and I don't think I could have kept my family away. Of course Diann was there, Ronnie came, my Mom and Jess, JD and Kenna and Bob came. Ronnie had Ethan and Sophia with him, but Jess took them to his house to put them to bed, and to keep them from seeing me in the condition I was in.

Since then I've had several tests and we're still trying to figure out what is next, and where I go from here. I've been off work, on disability of sorts, needing someone to watch me most of the time. I can't drive and I've had to depend on others way more then I am used to.

I've always been the person that would offer help to anyone, I would actually be offended if someone needing help wouldn't ask me, but now that I'm on the receiving end, it's much harder. I like to be independent and helpful, and that's not how I feel these days.

I do have to thank all the people that have been helping me lately. My Aunt Denise has been my constant babysitter and chauffer, taking me to appointments and just wherever she goes, just to get me out of the house. My mom and Jess who have helped with the kids even more then usual, and our neighbors, especially Rochelle, who has drove Ethan to school almost every morning, even though her daughter is off track and she should be sleeping in (I would be). Again I'm reminded of how lucky I am.

THANKSGIVING

My Thanksgiving had a split personality. But for now, lets just talk about the good. It started out as a great day. We spent dinner at my Uncle Bob's and Aunt Diann's house. We planned on having Thanksgiving dinner there because it would be easier for Curtis, but he decided to spend Thanksgiving with his Dad in Colorado. We were disappointed to not have him with us, but I was so happy that he was able to travel and visit with his family that aren't as lucky as we are. They don't have the pleasure of being able to visit him on a daily basis. I admit I did worry about him traveling by himself, but he made it there and back safely. We still had plenty of loved ones with us during dinner. There was the four of us, Ronnie, Ethan, Sophia and myself.Uncle Bob, Aunt Diann, cousin Danielle & Bree, my mom, Jess, my brother J.D., Kenna, Uncle Eddie, Aunt Theresa, cousin Tony and his girlfriend, cousin Richard and his wife Becky, cousin Kallie, her boyfriend Nick, and her three kids. It was a great dinner, with lots of great company and conversation. And most importantly...LOVE!After dinner, Ronnie, the kids, and I ventured across the street to Ronnie's Grandparents house. We had the pleasure of visiting his Grandparents, Ronnie's Dad, Aunt Debbie, Uncle Roger, cousin Keith and his wife Carly (with baby on the way, Veronique), Ronnie's sister Tina (with baby on the way, Justice) her boyfriend, and his nephew Chance.After visiting for a few, we made our way back to Bob and Diann's house, where the crowd had thinned. Some were playing Wii and others were visiting. Diann and I decided it was our chance to sneak away to catch a showing of Twilight!I have to say I was both pleased and disappointed with the movie. There were parts that thrilled me, but other parts that were so far from how I imagined it, that I was discouraged. I guess that's how it always is when you read the book first and are so anxious for the movie.

The Pumpkin Patch & Halloween

Ethan, Christian, & Sophia being clowns

My Witch and Dead Zombie Knight

I Lied

Yes, I admit it, I lied, but it's really not my fault. Apparently some of the doctors had a miscommunication; therefore giving the family wrong information. Curtis was not able to go home on the 12th, but rather was in surgery on the 13th. From what I’ve been told it was for his knee, in the beginning it was believed it would be able to heal without surgery, but the MRI showed there was still separation. Hopefully he’ll be released in a few more days.

Both my kids have strep throat, so I’m not able to visit him without worrying about spreading it to him, which at this point would not be good. So I’ll wait a few days to visit, hopefully he’ll be home by then.

More Excellent News!

Curtis is being released from the hospital today, exactly 4 weeks after his accident. After seeing him on the first day, I would have never thought he’d be coming home so fast. I really believe that all the love and support of the people surrounding him helped with the healing process.

He had several different nurses while he was in the ICU, and I appreciated the ones that believed and understood our family bond. They would let us talk to him and touch him, and like my brother JD and his roommate Brandon (who were more then happy to take the “night shift”) just sit in his room for hours on end (of course I’m talking about when he was in a coma).

There were some that didn’t appreciate us being there. One actually asked my Aunt “how would you like it to have all these people hovering over you, touching you?” My Aunt told her that is the way our family is and that was what Curtis was used to. But she agreed that we would do whatever the nurses asked us to do, for Curtis’ sake. I can’t imagine being used to our family and the closeness we have, and not having it or feeling it while you are in a coma, what a lonely feeling that would be. I know some believe that people in comas, don’t feel or hear anything, but I think they’re wrong. How else can you explain Curtis’ miraculous recovery? We surrounded him with all the people that love him, and he’s already going home!

His accident happened so early in the morning, family starting arriving around 3 am. I didn’t receive a call until around noon that day; I think they believe I’m not strong enough to handle such things. So when I talked to my brother, he told me to come see him before they took him into surgery, if I wanted to, of course I did. He wasn’t awake, had been unconscious since the accident, but obviously something was reaching him, somewhere in his mind. Apparently before I got there the doctor asked him a question and Curtis gave him the thumbs up. When you would talk to him, he would squeeze your hand, and I knew he could tell we were there. Everyone needed a little break before they took him in to surgery, so I stood there, holding his hand for a good half hour or so. I tried to walk across the room to get tissues, but when I tried to take my fingers out of his hand, he squeezed tighter, he wouldn’t let go. I had to ask the cleaning lady to hand me the box of tissues.

The whole time he was out or under, or however you’d like to say it, he knew we were there and we loved him. He knew we were supporting him and waiting for his eyes to open. He knew we would all be overjoyed when he could come home. And I’m sure there were times he was tired of listening to all of us babble non stop to him, but if that’s what it takes to get him better, and home, that’s what we’ll do. I feel so lucky and proud to be a part of this wonderful family; I can’t imagine it any other way.

Thanks again to everyone who visited, sent love and prayers, and supported Curtis, our family and friends through this. We can’t tell you enough how much we appreciate it!

God Bless you all!

Curtis Update

I know I should already have a post about Sophia turning 5, but she’s having a party this Saturday so I’ll update after that one.

I have news about Curtis, GREAT news actually. He is doing remarkable. Everyday he is more himself, and his quick recovery makes the crash seem like it happened months ago. The doctors have given us great hope by setting a tentative release date, which will hopefully be a week from today. He’ll be staying with his mom until he’s recovered and he'll still need to have someone with him 24 hrs a day. He’ll still be going to physical and work therapy at the hospital. They have said his complete recovery could take up to a year, but I have hope that it will be sooner, they were the ones who told us his release date wouldn’t be until mid to end of December.

I went to visit him last night. He said some pretty funny things, and I’m sure they won’t translate quite as humorous in writing, but I’m still going to post them.

To his mom, after his stepdad mentioned going to eat a steak for dinner:
“I hate you mom, just go have a beer and a filet mignon, whatever, I don’t care. Sizzler has great deals.”

To my brother when he was talking to him on the phone:
“Hey, I’m getting ready to check out, so when we get out of here I’ll call you and tell you where we’re going so you can meet up with us……….Ya, I’m checking out, I’m not coming back until tomorrow.”

To his friend’s girlfriend:
“Is your hot tub ready? I’m heading over there now.” When she said they were draining it and then refilling it he said “Well that doesn’t work, it will never be ready.”

On my way out of the hospital I passed by one of his friends who told me that Curtis had asked to use his cell phone the night before. He called information and asked for the number to a hotel downtown. When they connected him to the hotel, he tried to make a reservation for that night. Apparently he thought he needed someplace to stay.

I'm going to try to get some pictures posted in the next few days.

The whole family appreciates all the love, support and prayers everyone has been sending Curtis’ way. Thanks again!

5 Years Ago

Let me tell you a little about November 4th, 2003, five years ago today. I remember working a full day, going to a doctor appointment during my lunch break, stopping at a bookstore on the way home from work, Ronnie making dinner, reading books to Ethan, and Ronnie taking pictures of Ethan rubbing my enormous belly. After putting Ethan to bed, Ronnie and I settled into bed ourselves. And those are my last memories of our family of three.
At midnight I woke up in labor, the same time I woke up in labor with Ethan, the difference this time, was I knew this was it. I had no question in my mind that what I was feeling was Sophia making her entrance into this world. By three am we were dropping Ethan off at my Mom’s house and making our way to the hospital. It wasn’t a long ride, but it seemed like it took forever. There was no counting time between contractions; she was ready to make her entrance into this world. Less then twelve hours after going into labor Sophia joined our family. She weighed a whopping 8 lbs 15 oz! Ethan was only 7 lbs 1 oz, so that seemed HUGE to me and my 5’1” body. Even my doctor was a little shocked; although I had been telling him for months I knew she was going to be huge, he just didn’t believe she’d be that big.
She had a perfect little round face and wonderful, almost tanned, tone to her skin. She had tons of curly hair, in a perfect auburn shade. She was beautiful! The perfect addition to our family.
Tomorrow she’ll turn five, and I’ve been procrastinating planning a celebration for her. Somewhere in my mind I believe if we put it off, she won’t turn five yet, even though I know it’s not true. It’s hard to watch my baby grow up, to not be my baby anymore. I haven’t decided if it’s harder to watch your first born or your baby grow up, for me, both are extremely hard. My biggest wish is to raise them both the best I can, with the values and beliefs I feel are important, and most of all, with all the love I have to give the

I'm Ready Now

I’m ready to tell you all about my cousin and his accident. Let me first explain to you how our relationship has been. His Mom, Diann, is a year younger then my Mom and they have always been very close. There came a time when they were both single parents, my Mom raising me and my brother, and my Aunt, raising my cousin Curtis. We spent a lot of time together, the 5 of us, even living together at one point. JD & Curtis were like my little brothers at that time. They grew up as close as best friends can be, even got chickenpox at the same time. To this day they still have that brotherly connection. Quite a few years later I spent a lot of time babysitting Curtis and his two younger sisters. I’ve heard his friends say how cool they thought it was when I babysat, because then they got to hang out with my friends too. Then, as we got older, before either of us met our future spouses, Curtis and I would hang out together. We’d go to the local race track to watch the weekly races, we’d watch Nascar together on the weekends, and we hung out together at the local “lounge” bar. I think we’ve always had a closer relationship then most cousins, and I’ve enjoyed that.

On October 15th, Curtis was in a motorcycle accident. In the beginning the outlook was still unknown and didn't look good. His condition was very critical, and even though he’s making tremendous progress, he is still in critical condition. We haven’t explained the whole situation to Ethan & Sophia. I don’t think Sophia would quite understand, Ethan would, but I think it’s too much for a worrier like him to have to think about right now. Ethan has asked if he’ll look the same, which makes me believe he has been overhearing us talk, I’ve told him he will, he may have some scars, but he’ll still be Curtis. We’ve taken lots of pictures of Curtis through out the process, and most of them don’t resemble the Curtis we love, but I have a feeling he’ll want to see them when he’s all better and looks the same as he did before.

We’ve started a “Carepage” for Curtis to keep people updated on his progress. You can find the link under “My Blog List”.